"Worry less about being a great artist. Worry more about being a good human being who makes art."

Austin Kleon

Book: Keep Going

. . . .

Origin Story

I grew up on the summer reading programs at my local library. With every stamp on my reading challenge card, I fell into a rhythm of checking out books and reading them every night. I could find anything I dreamed of doing or making in a book. Books taught me to crochet, fail at computer programming, and tidy like Marie Kondo. Having this immense resource in my life gave me early access to a creative lifestyle.

. . . .

Identity

Creative inspiration was all around me, but I was a mystery to myself beyond the broad categories of "art" and "books." I started making lists of items that defined me: ballet dancing, books, drawing, water, and the color green. These parts of myself were so different I had no clue how they'd ever unite.

Art became exhaustion, and I turned to self-help books and inspirational content to respark my passion. But I could not paint without energy or draw every day, and no book could tell me how to live my life. Because creativity was my identity, I did not know who I was without it.

. . . .

Heartbeats

I tried on various identities to find my one true self: Blogger, Business Owner, Musician, Pianist, and even Poet. My rhythm of creativity was destabilized and frequently interrupted by change.Fortunately, I started living on campus at my university, where I had opportunities to participate in art instead of merely creating it. I went to concerts, visited gallery shows, and walked in nature. This new practice gave structure to my life, and experiencing art magnified my tiny world. When the title "Artist" was once my life source, now it was just a heartbeat in my human existence.

. . . .

Wholehearted

Taking comfort in creativity instead of forcing it into an identity helped me appreciate the tiny details of my everyday life. When I turned myself into a Creator, I only lost curiosity for what made me human. I also lost the freedom of creation. Approaching art, books, and music as a spectator is a resting place when I feel too hopeless to create. In this place, I've found who I am as a person and, as a result, an artist.